Norcumi's Hall of Shame

Last updated: March 24, 2003

Welcome to the horror that is my mind, and the unfinished monsters that dwell there.

Well, I was poking around some old files, and stumbled over some stuff I do remember writing, but (in some cases, quite thankfully) never finished for one reason or another. And for some bizzare reason I decided to post some of 'em. A few ended 'cause I lost interest, others I just felt were too bad to keep going. Some I just forgot about. If I get enough feedback (::grins:: 3 or more e-mails to get off my lazy tail NOW) I'll maybe take a stab at finishing a few. Others will remain this way forever. One note, these have not been proofed. No need to put poor Datafage through more torture than necessary.

On with the horror that is my writing!
No, that wasn't me being too self-effacing. Most of these really do reek (the rest should be on the bottom of a birdcage).

Dancin' Fools Rated: lower PG-13       Gargoyles
To start off, something relatively mild and intentionally bad. Someone commented that my Meg's Journal series was getting a wee bit too close to the Timedancer series at TGS. So on a whim I made up a "missing episode" in which Meg runs into Brooklyn early on in his timedancing. Then it got downright silly as I let my Brooklyn fetish out, and the ending.... Occurs after Welcome to the Shadows and early in Timedancer season 1. I actually posted this in the Garg archive as a joke, figuring if it made 3 stars it would be a bloody miracle. The blasted thing hasn't gone below 5 yet.... O_o?

Medical Call Rated: PG       Shadowrun
For some reason, it once struck me that shadowrunners are insane to do what they do. So, why not a team of literlly insane runners? The idea seemed hillarious, the fic... came across as way too forced. So I stopped. ::shrugs:: Threw in my character notes at the end in case anyone's that interested, but.... I don't think the team would really last that long. Ah well. There's always next time.

Guide Me Home Rated: PG?       The Sentinel
My creativity daemons get weird around exam time. They know I can't spare as much attention to them, so they get bitter. Anyway, 2 phrases from the show hit me; that being a Sentinel/Guide is genetic, and the immortal "Sandburg, stay in the truck". So if Blair was out of the picture, who would that leave for being Jim's Guide....? The plot outline comes first, then the bits I did. Now that I'm rational, sounds too weird to try, but I can pretty much gurantee something will happen to use the description of haywire senses.

Razor's Edge Rated: PG 13?       Fantasy
Whew. Finally dragged this monster out of the dust bunnies. Hope you remember Dirdre, the psychotic elf in a fantasy setting created by Tyr. I always figured she had more reason to hate humans than just what I had, so I started this one way back when every time I was having a really bad day (all the better to torment the characters!). But I lost interest, it never got done, and so it wasted away. Here's what I had, along with quick notes to get you through the missing bits.

Quantum Garg Rated: PG       crossover: Gargoyles/Quantum Leap
AKA Garg Leap. Well, Quantum Leap used to come on before Sentinel for awhile, so I got in the habit of catching the last 10 minutes or so. I found it amusing, but it never caught the obsession. After Evil Twin, I began to wonder why Jay let loose her big speech on Silicon. It was rather out of character, and she doesn't do speeches. But what if it wasn't her...? Having seen only 3 episodes of Quantum Leap, I feel far too inadequate to finish, tho I still find it amusing.

Memory Found Rated: PG with high sappiness quotient       Gargoyles
*shudders* I cannot believe I wrote this. Before Jay, there was Ember, a gargoyle with magic, attitude, and a Mary Sue complex like you wouldn't believe. I finished this back before the whole cancer thing, but I thank all the powers that be I never got the guts to post it. It's trite, full of wish fulfillment, crammed with attempts to show off my bad Latin translations, and I hadn't grasped the concept of "than" instead of "then". This one is majorly scary.

JoyRide Rated: PG       Gargoyles
This was meant to be a segment of the Family Ties saga, covering both what happened to Jay during her Thanksgiving vacation (which would also establish that her sort of kind of very distant cousin by marriage is Caroline... Jim's ex-wife, a tidbit I still enjoy too much), as well as just how her grandmother Amy was involved with the clan. But it didn't work out. ::shrugs:: If anyone wants to do anything with this one, just leave me a message. I'm not likely to do more.

Poker Night Rated: PG       Shadowrun
Well, I know I mentioned Shanna enjoys a poker night with some decker friends. And who better than Fel, the decker from hell (or at least the fic from it, which has since been removed from the site)? As for a third, I mentioned in passing Thumper, the insane troll who sorta kinda showed up in Medical Call (look up). Then I lost interest in two of the three characters, so.... ::shrugs:: Honestly, a large part of it was just to use the wonderful phrase from Babgoyle's site: an insane, psychadelic chinchilla. No, I won't explain that one.

Dream A Little Dream Rated: PG         Gargoyles
Way back when MercenaryX and I were doing a co-writing thing, he asked for a quasi dream sequence about the future of the clan and/or Jay and Tate (I forget which). I'm still not certain why, or what he ever did with it, but here's the result. I doubt this will be a scene in what passes for cannon in my universe, but it's still a fun little bit. Any opinions on this one are extremely appreciated.

Memory Lost Rated: PG, maybe PG-13         Gargoyles
Yes, I did a sequel to Memory Found (I started a third in the series, too, but thankfully I never finished it). Massive Mary-Sueism. Just bad writing. However, though all the cringing I think I see a lot of the beginnings of Jay in this one. Also clear signs of how much angst I put my characters through. *cackles manically* At least I can never be accused of easily hooking up characters! Poooooooor Brooklyn. I abuse him so badly.

Christmas in Connecticut Rated: Y-7         Gargoyles
So, I wanted to do a holiday story. The characters/universe did not. I wanted to keep the DayDream Foundation... so did the characters/universe. Therefore, I've finally moved this from the garg section. While DayDream will show up, the rest of this is too non-canon to use. So.... yeah. Pointless holiday fluff as Jay and the clan celebrate the end of the year in style. Sure, it's bizzare, gargoyle style, but style nevertheless.

Snapshot Rated: PG         Gargoyles
I'm actually very amused by this one. I'm not sure if it's canon or not, or where it would even fit in, but I'm leaving it up. Mostly, I couldn't resist writing something to Dogmatix's lovely pic.

Random Thoughts Rated: PG         Gargoyles
Another snippet that never really went anywhere. Still rather happy with it, it just... didn't do much. ::shrugs::

For the love of God, lemme out!!!! A.K.A. Home

Any questions? Complaints? Screams of outrage that I actually consider myself a writer and/or dared to show this in public? Tell me! Send it all to! I love mail!!!!

All characters in the stories belong to me (Norcumi) unless otherwise indicated. That means you can't use them without my permission. Ask to use them and chances are good that'll I'll say that you can. All other copyright concerns are dealt with on the Disclaimers page.